NEGOTIATING WITH BULLIES PART II
- If you are inclined to give the bully a chance to redeem himself, and are in a negotiation room with your team and his, you might suggest taking a ‘time out’.
- A time out can include a bio break that allows both sides a chance for refreshments which may have a calming effect. More importantly, meeting one on one deprives the bully of an audience to play to. Bullies draw strength from audience approval.
- Provide the bully with a list of the issues as you see them and ask if you’ve left any out. If the bully responds positively add them to your list. He’ll be pleased probably believing he’s winning. Let him think so.
- Suggest that you’re willing to return to the negotiating room and discuss all the issues. If he agrees, then do so. If he balks, then tell him that the meeting is over and let him know that any deal depends on a ‘win/win’ and that you’re prepared to meet again as soon as he accepts this as a basis for discussion.
- Setting the ground rules and walking out gives you power and takes power away from the bully.
- Better to do this than to simply give in and punish yourself. Besides appeasement never produces positive results.
